I've been wondering lately if I'm doing my kids justice with this whole Law of Attraction thing. I've tried to emphasize to my children that they have choices in life, tried to identify their needs and help them to find creative and positive ways to get those needs met while also honoring the needs of those around them, and even helped them to set goals and encouraged them to achieve them even when there was no end in sight and we didn't know how to make it all come about.
With the younger kids it seems almost easier because they don't have much lack mentality built up from life's disappointments. We practice Non-Violent Communication as taught by Parenting Coach Bill Stierle.
We've learned over time to help the kids to identify their needs, how they are feeling, and we explore how they affect the people around them. It seems the toughest issues for our youngest is, "How do I get that toy away from my friend and into my own hands RIGHT NOW!?" We teach our children about sharing, taking turns, and positive ways to get what they want, while honoring what their friends want as well. It's not always easy, but they eventually get it.
My older kids, however, are just moving into those rough teen years. My 13-year-old is all ready shaving and has a girlfriend, and my soon-to-be-12-year-old starts middle school in two weeks. With the changes in biology and all the raging and shifting hormones even simple tasks can seem impossible while their minds are fixated on these new teen needs. Being accepted by their peers is of paramount importance to them. It seems all their attention is focused on how to fit in with the people they want to be around. What better way to build a person's self-esteem than to teach them how to go for the things they want in life with the understanding that they are worthy of happiness, friendship and acceptance, a safe environment to live in, that they are free now to explore their interests and set themselves up with a rich and rewarding career and life. To keep their eye on the prize even as their lives heave and shift around them.
Of course, as parents, we can never understand right? I've found that always keeping the dialog open with my kids about growing up, about our bodies, about our life experiences, goes a long way. I believe that parents should be the authority figures in children's lives, they do want and need boundaries; but I also believe that there are no better people to hear their feelings where they know they are always safe to say what is on their minds than Mom and Dad. We will always love them. Even if we don't like the behavior, we love the child, and that is so important to get across.
As my kids have grown I've been torn between the idea that kids left with too much time on their hands are going to entertain themselves with things you'd rather they weren't doing, and at the same time I don't want to over schedule them so that they have no free time to be kids. There's a tough balance to find! I have to trust them out on their own with their friends and I've found that the best way to be able to do that is to have an open dialog where they know they are safe to tell me everything. Where they are confident in themselves that they don't need to do really stupid things to gain acceptance, because they can accept themselves and know that they are loved unconditionally.
By the Law of Attraction they bring into their lives good, positive, intelligent people, great opportunities, enjoyable outings and activities. When kids know they have choices, when they feel they have the right to pick and choose thier friends, their goals, their environments, then they have the freedom to be themselves and achieve great things. For teens the world is their oyster, the potential is limitless and they're just getting to the age where they can really start to understand that and how it serves them.
Too many children don't know they have choices. They feel trapped and limited. They let the world push them along and toss them onto any nearby shore, waiting for some unimagined future where they will someday have the power to pick something better from the flotsam around them. They see what is right before them and think that is all there is, their only options. Stuck in circumstance.
Circumstance though is what we make of it, and certainly what we have attracted into our lives, like it or not. How do we teach success to our children? Set them up for success. Start the dialog and then help them with little victories that they can expand on and grow.
My eldest son started by wanting an ipod Touch. It took a long time, but he eventually got it. Now he's set his sights on creating his own gaming website. How can a 13-year-old make his own business? Well, he's gotten different friends on board to do various jobs in the project, he's learning about programming and business, he's even thinking creatively about marketing and tie-in products and how he can make his site more fun and engaging. He's building the kinds of games that he and his friends like to play. He's known for years he wants to own a business, and all ready sells gum and candy and is constantly looking for the right products to fills the needs of his peers. He looks for what people want, tries to fill that need and in the mean time works to fill his own needs. He knows he can do it. He's all ready successful in his mind and what the mind can conceive he can achieve.
Greatness lies is believing you can, knowing you have options, asking the universe for what you want, keeping open to the possible ways in which it may manifest and taking the actions necessary.
I think I'm doing okay with my kids, time will tell.
No comments:
Post a Comment